A. Side effect of too much Metamucil
B. Something you get from drinking the water in Mexico
C. Bacterial infection harbored by ferrets
D. An arterial disease of unknown etiology typically affecting the medium and large arteries of young to middle-aged (I beg your pardon!) women
This may or may not look like my very own personal kidney. I have about 50% blockage. This is actually more than 50%. Plus, because I am special, I have 2 renal arteries on my left side.
So Monday AM, I go to have this fixed. Basically it goes like this:
1. Drug patient. Jab big needle into femoral artery (see the upside down Y, that is the femoral arteries)
2. Shove catheter through this artery towards the heart
3. Take sharp turn at the kidney
4. Inflate balloon that is on the tip of the catheter to squish the blockage against the walls of the artery
5. Waaaa Laaaah! Done
6. Lie flat for 2 to 6 hours based on how well the doctor jabbed you with the needle
7. Wake up 2 hours after the procedure because you was loaded with drugs because you are the most annoying patient ever!!!!
Why drugs are necessary?
1. Big needle
2. Doctor in room
3. One sneeze and your entire artery could be perforated (which leads to bleeding to death and more doctors)
4. Allergy to the IV contrast dye (i.e. iodine, shrimp!!!) that will be shot into the arteries. If I die, I would rather not know about it until later! (I will premedicate!!! )
5. I do this everyday at work. I know all the side effects! Too much info!!!!
1. Drug patient. Jab big needle into femoral artery (see the upside down Y, that is the femoral arteries)
2. Shove catheter through this artery towards the heart
3. Take sharp turn at the kidney
4. Inflate balloon that is on the tip of the catheter to squish the blockage against the walls of the artery
5. Waaaa Laaaah! Done
6. Lie flat for 2 to 6 hours based on how well the doctor jabbed you with the needle
7. Wake up 2 hours after the procedure because you was loaded with drugs because you are the most annoying patient ever!!!!
Why drugs are necessary?
1. Big needle
2. Doctor in room
3. One sneeze and your entire artery could be perforated (which leads to bleeding to death and more doctors)
4. Allergy to the IV contrast dye (i.e. iodine, shrimp!!!) that will be shot into the arteries. If I die, I would rather not know about it until later! (I will premedicate!!! )
5. I do this everyday at work. I know all the side effects! Too much info!!!!
3 comments:
I am going to die right now.
How dast they call you middle aged?!?!?!
Oh Julianna! Today at work, I went out into the hall and the respiratory therapists were lying this guy on a stretcher. Apparently they tried to get blood from him and he freaked. I think his heart rate dropped (this is quite common). He was nauseated and really sweaty. Took him to the ER. He got a lot better AWAY from the needle! Thought of you!!!!!
Yes Gretchen. I am greatly offended. I have decided that middle age begins at 55. Period.
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