This is how I feel today......

Thanks to Scott for this awesome photo.

I arrived home from Jordan at 1 am on Thanksgiving morning. The connecting flight was late arriving in Chicago, so we left late. It was also snowing pretty hard and we had to DE-ICE.

So the trip from Amman to Chicago was uneventful, however, the trip to Chicago to Little Rock involved 2 children(girls) that I firmly believe are spawns of the Devil. If not the actual spawns, AT LEAST apprentice-spawns. And there mother should easily qualify for the Britney Spears Mom of the Year Award. Her nomination is based on several things including but not limited to:

1. 3 year old starts saying "Shit" over and over again, loudly, on a small plane...8 year old sister is laughing.............mother is also laughing......while telling her to stop saying it.

2. Mother has no snacks or anything for the kids to do on the plane.

3. Since when is Ryan a unisex name???? Did I miss something? Why would you name a girl Ryan?

4. Threatening kids with all kinds of things, but never actually following through with threats.


MOM:"This is an official timeout"

3 year old: "She is looking at me!"

MOM: "Stop talking, this is a real timeout!, I mean it. Stop looking at your sister"

3 year old: "I want a snack, I am hungry, She is looking at me! Shit!"

8 year old: "She is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo spoiled!"

MOM: (laughing)"You can't talk, you are both in timeout. And don't say that word."

3 year old: "I WANT SOMETHING TO EAT!" Multiple "shit" and the occasional "shit wipe"

MOM: " I mean it, you are in a timeout"


TIMEOUT, my ass! Timeouts are a communist plot to undermine American culture (2nd only to Barney the purple dinosaur). In the immortal words of the FruitCake Lady (God rest her soul) ----- This kid needs a "good swift kick in the ass!" or at least a spanking, and the mom needs a kick in the ass too.

And this was all before we even took off. We had to sit on the plane to wait for the de-icing thingy.

So.... I would never pray that my plane would crash, but i was like "God if it is already predestined that this plane will crash, could you just do it NOW! rather than later."

The one redeeming glimmer: At the end of the flight, Mom called the grandfather, and even though are plane was late, they were still not at the airport. So she was going to have to wait at the airport with those children until her ride arrived.

Sorry, but I was overjoyed. Maybe it was lack of sleep, but probably just because I am bad person.